{"title":"Moose","description":"\u003cp\u003eA moose walks through a swamp like the swamp owes it money. Antlers wide enough to hang laundry on. Legs built for wading through water that would drown a horse. Six hundred pounds of shoulder, moving at the exact speed it wants to move, which is often not fast, because there's no reason to hurry when you're the biggest thing in the room.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThey say a moose can dive fifteen feet underwater for a mouthful of pond weed and come up looking mildly annoyed about it. Norse settlers supposedly believed the moose was too stubborn to be tamed by man or god, which tracks — this is an animal that eats twigs for a living and still outweighs your car. It doesn't posture. It doesn't perform. It just stands in the middle of the road, daring the world to ask it to move.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eNo natural grace. No apologies for it either. A moose has never once tried to look sleek, and it has never once needed to.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBig. Broad. Unbothered by scale. If you've ever taken up more space than the room was built for and refused to feel bad about it, congratulations — you've found your shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"howling-moose-tee","title":"Moose - T-shirt (unisex)","description":"\u003ch3\u003eAbout the garment\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis is a Comfort Colors 1717, printed one at a time to order. It's garment-dyed for a soft, lived-in colour from the first wear, cut in a relaxed unisex fit with a twill-taped neck and shoulders.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% ring-spun cotton, 6.1 oz\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGarment-dyed, so the colour is soft and lived-in from the first wear\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed unisex fit, with a twill-taped neck and shoulders\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted one at a time, to order\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch3\u003eAbout the design\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eA moose does not sneak up on anything. It walks through the frame like the frame owes it money. Antlers like a chandelier ripped off a wall, a chest built for shouldering through spruce and ice, legs long enough to clear a fence most animals would have to go around. Six hundred pounds of animal that still, somehow, swims.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eNorse hunters supposedly read the moose as a woodland omen, half-warning, half-boast, and old trappers swore it could hear a twig snap a mile off. None of that explains why it's howling at the moon here, airbrushed in cold silver and ash like every other bootleg tee from 1994. It doesn't need to explain itself. You don't ask the biggest thing in the forest to justify its evening.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Pepper \/ S","offer_id":58845275488520,"sku":"11899791082345163795","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ M","offer_id":58782310203656,"sku":"15540639959737021013","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ L","offer_id":58782310236424,"sku":"16811299466596074901","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ XL","offer_id":58782310269192,"sku":"25876665536193339830","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ 2XL","offer_id":58782310301960,"sku":"19958785418135823802","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ 3XL","offer_id":58782310334728,"sku":"18756207907190563006","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1056\/9288\/9352\/files\/5811743432319712841_2048.jpg?v=1789715071"},{"product_id":"howling-moose-longsleeve","title":"Moose - Long Sleeve (unisex)","description":"\u003ch3\u003eAbout the garment\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis is a Comfort Colors 6014, garment-dyed so the color settles in soft and lived-in before you ever wash it. The fit is relaxed and unisex, with ribbed cuffs and taped seams at the neck and shoulders that keep their shape. Each shirt is printed one at a time, to order.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% ring-spun cotton, 6.1 oz\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGarment-dyed, so the colour is soft and lived-in from the first wear\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed unisex fit, with ribbed cuffs and a twill-taped neck and shoulders\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted one at a time, to order\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch3\u003eAbout the design\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eA moose does not sneak up on anything. It just arrives, and the ground remembers. This one stands against near-black, rendered in cold moonlight, ash grey and pale ice blue with violet shadow, the overspray coarse and gritty the way old airbrush work always was, speckle and mist hard-edged on black.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSix hundred pounds of animal that can clear a fence like it weighs nothing, antlers built new every year just to drop them again. Some say a moose crossing your path was the old woods testing your nerve. Wear it if you don't flinch first.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Pepper","offer_id":58782310433032,"sku":"23359625717015487698","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Pepper","offer_id":58782310465800,"sku":"24313097362066569886","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Pepper","offer_id":58782310498568,"sku":"19560088073923522170","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Pepper","offer_id":58782310531336,"sku":"20131626479694355197","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Pepper","offer_id":58782310564104,"sku":"42975111882434762915","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1056\/9288\/9352\/files\/11102214513916922556_2048.jpg?v=1789715077"},{"product_id":"howling-moose-sweatshirt","title":"Moose - Sweatshirt (unisex)","description":"\u003ch3\u003eAbout the garment\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis sweatshirt is built from Comfort Colors 1566, an 80\/20 ring-spun cotton and polyester fleece with a 100% cotton face. It's garment-dyed to match the t-shirt, so a set looks like a set. The fit is a relaxed unisex crewneck, with ribbed cuffs and waistband. Each one is printed to order, one at a time.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e80\/20 ring-spun cotton and polyester fleece, with a 100% cotton face\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGarment-dyed to match the t-shirt, so a set looks like a set\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed unisex crewneck, with ribbed cuffs and waistband\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted one at a time, to order\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch3\u003eAbout the design\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eMoose don't sneak. Six feet at the shoulder, antlers spanning wider than a doorway, seventy pounds of bone fanned out into paddles it grows back every year just to drop again. It looks built to be slow. It isn't: moose clear rivers, outrun horses, and stand their ground against wolves without checking the math first.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOld Norse and Algonquian hunters told of moose-spirits too big for the woods that made them, animals the size of a myth wearing the shape of an animal. They say a bull moose in rut will challenge a truck. Nobody has ever needed an explanation for that. This one's howling at the moon because the moon, frankly, started it.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Pepper \/ S","offer_id":58782310629640,"sku":"42484191123910593462","price":54.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ M","offer_id":58782310662408,"sku":"20691663893506201177","price":54.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ L","offer_id":58782310695176,"sku":"21580432867715171109","price":54.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ XL","offer_id":58782310727944,"sku":"26924981739048990236","price":54.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ 2XL","offer_id":58782310760712,"sku":"10472322015911855076","price":54.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ 3XL","offer_id":58782310793480,"sku":"27094280251287382696","price":54.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1056\/9288\/9352\/files\/18278164576370550536_2048.jpg?v=1789715093"},{"product_id":"howling-moose-tote","title":"Moose - Tote bag","description":"\u003ch3\u003eAbout the garment\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis tote is built to carry things, printed the same way every time. The design goes straight onto black cotton canvas, one bag at a time, so what you order is what gets made.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% cotton canvas, in black\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThe design is printed straight onto the bag, not patched or embroidered\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted one at a time, to order\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch3\u003eAbout the design\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eA moose does not sneak up on anything. Nine hundred pounds of antler and shoulder, built out of willow bark and pond weed, standing in cold moonlight like it owns the lake. It looks slow. It is not: a moose can outrun a horse and swim for miles without stopping to ask why.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOld hunting lore says a bull moose will charge the moon's reflection on still water, mistaking it for a rival. Nobody ever talked it out of that. This one isn't posturing. It's just correct about its own size, rendered in white, silver and ash on near-black, airbrushed rough the way the genre demands. Bulk is not a flaw here. It's the whole argument.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ 15\" x 16\"","offer_id":58782312956168,"sku":"30064461593266588261","price":14.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1056\/9288\/9352\/files\/11853046252107843194_2048.jpg?v=1789715112"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1056\/9288\/9352\/collections\/moose-collection-2d222e96.jpg?v=1789717005","url":"https:\/\/moonhowlers.store\/collections\/howling-moose.oembed","provider":"Moon Howlers","version":"1.0","type":"link"}