{"title":"Walrus","description":"\u003cp\u003eA walrus does not enter a room. It arrives, eventually, after a nap that lasted longer than your last relationship. Two tusks, a mustache built from eight hundred whiskers, three inches of blubber standing between it and every cold ocean on earth — this is not an animal built for speed. It is built for staying.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eNorse sailors supposedly carved walrus ivory into chess pieces and called it sea-horse tooth, like the thing needed a better name than the one it already had. It didn't. Old sailors also swore a walrus could sleep on the water itself, bobbing upright, tusks hooked over an ice floe like a coat on a rack. Nobody's disproven it. Nobody's tried.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt hauls out in a pile of a thousand others, all bellowing, all shoving, all built like couches with grievances, and somehow still finds a way to be the one taking up the most room. Tusks aren't for show — they're for hauling three-quarter-ton bodies out of water that would kill most things twice. Earned scars, not decoration.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYou already know which one you are at every family gathering. Bulk over speed. Tusks over apologies. Put it on a shirt: built for the long nap, armed for the argument.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"howling-walrus-tee","title":"Walrus - T-shirt (unisex)","description":"\u003ch3\u003eAbout the garment\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis shirt starts as a Comfort Colors 1717 blank, 6.1 oz of ring-spun cotton. It's garment-dyed, so the color arrives soft and lived-in instead of stiff off the shelf. The fit is relaxed and unisex, with taped seams at the neck and shoulders holding the shape. Each shirt is printed one at a time, to order.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% ring-spun cotton, 6.1 oz\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGarment-dyed, so the colour is soft and lived-in from the first wear\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed unisex fit, with a twill-taped neck and shoulders\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted one at a time, to order\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch3\u003eAbout the design\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eA walrus does not howl so much as it decides to. Two thousand pounds of blubber, tusks a meter long grown over decades, whiskers built to sweep the seafloor blind for clams. It looks like dead weight until it moves — hauling that bulk onto the ice in one motion, tusks doing the work of ice axes and title deeds at once.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOld sailors supposedly logged those tusks as sea-monster horn, and northern lore has long treated the walrus as an elder of the pack ice, owed the space it takes. This one isn't howling to get noticed. You don't ask an elder to speak up.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Pepper \/ S","offer_id":58845277454600,"sku":"13545347570042506992","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ M","offer_id":58748359508232,"sku":"12666064342283257168","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ L","offer_id":58748359541000,"sku":"82351848272749942275","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ XL","offer_id":58748359573768,"sku":"27917990780329008319","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ 2XL","offer_id":58748359606536,"sku":"87049472701107640132","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ 3XL","offer_id":58748359639304,"sku":"10410110170071479782","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1056\/9288\/9352\/files\/9862005850358744625_2048.jpg?v=1789669571"},{"product_id":"howling-walrus-longsleeve","title":"Walrus - Long Sleeve (unisex)","description":"\u003ch3\u003eAbout the garment\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis long sleeve starts as a Comfort Colors 6014 blank: 100% ring-spun cotton, garment-dyed for a soft, lived-in colour from the first wear. The fit is relaxed and unisex, with ribbed cuffs and a twill-taped neck and shoulders. It's printed one at a time, to order.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% ring-spun cotton, 6.1 oz\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGarment-dyed, so the colour is soft and lived-in from the first wear\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed unisex fit, with ribbed cuffs and a twill-taped neck and shoulders\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted one at a time, to order\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch3\u003eAbout the design\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eA walrus shouldn't be the one howling at the moon. It's built for hauling itself onto rocks, not serenading the sky. Two feet of ivory tusks, a neck of blubber, whiskers like a bristle brush built for crushing clams off the seafloor. It looks like dead weight until it dives: it can hold its breath for over twenty-five minutes and crack sea ice from below with its skull.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eInuit legend holds that the first walrus was a woman who chose the sea over marriage, her fingers curling into tusks as the water closed over her. They say she still argues with the tide, and the moon still listens. On this shirt, seniority isn't earned. It's carried, tusk first, and it doesn't apologize.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Pepper","offer_id":58748362785032,"sku":"30009629499744216467","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Pepper","offer_id":58748362817800,"sku":"96425696442802036775","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Pepper","offer_id":58748362850568,"sku":"22946689720452944182","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Pepper","offer_id":58748362883336,"sku":"11587021232776654752","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Pepper","offer_id":58748362916104,"sku":"13544298740445761467","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1056\/9288\/9352\/files\/7115237259304807659_2048.jpg?v=1789660645"},{"product_id":"howling-walrus-sweatshirt","title":"Walrus - Sweatshirt (unisex)","description":"\u003ch3\u003eAbout the garment\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis sweatshirt starts with Comfort Colors 1566: an 80\/20 ring-spun cotton and polyester fleece with a 100% cotton face. It's garment-dyed to match the t-shirt in this line, so a set looks like a set. The cut is a relaxed unisex crewneck, with ribbed cuffs and waistband. Each one is printed one at a time, to order.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e80\/20 ring-spun cotton and polyester fleece, with a 100% cotton face\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGarment-dyed to match the t-shirt, so a set looks like a set\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed unisex crewneck, with ribbed cuffs and waistband\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted one at a time, to order\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch3\u003eAbout the design\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eA walrus does not sneak up on anything. It arrives — two thousand pounds of blubber, tusks like carved ivory clubs, whiskers built for grinding clams out of the dark seafloor. It looks like a boulder that learned to breathe.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThat boulder can outdive a submarine crew and haul itself onto pack ice without slowing down. Inuit hunters called it the old man of the sea, and said, supposedly, that it could grind through ice a foot thick just to get a better look at the moon. Rank isn't something a walrus asks for. You just notice you've already given it.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Pepper \/ S","offer_id":58748363047176,"sku":"28201837267033927586","price":54.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ M","offer_id":58748363079944,"sku":"18673232159331984179","price":54.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ L","offer_id":58748363112712,"sku":"21918203366993754201","price":54.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ XL","offer_id":58748363145480,"sku":"11174882629695642331","price":54.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ 2XL","offer_id":58748363178248,"sku":"29192537813865062058","price":54.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ 3XL","offer_id":58748363211016,"sku":"17364813173622846879","price":54.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1056\/9288\/9352\/files\/18211247461827538817_2048.jpg?v=1789669555"},{"product_id":"howling-walrus-tote","title":"Walrus - Tote bag","description":"\u003ch3\u003eAbout the garment\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis tote is printed straight onto the bag, not patched or embroidered. It's made from 100% cotton canvas in black, and each one is printed one at a time, to order.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eLiberty Bags OAD113\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% cotton canvas, in black\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThe design is printed straight onto the bag, not patched or embroidered\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted one at a time, to order\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch3\u003eAbout the design\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eA walrus should not be able to howl at anything. It has no wolf's jaw, only a face built around two feet of ivory. Those tusks look ornamental until you watch what they're for: ice picks, grappling hooks, a permanent tally of old fights. They haul three-quarter-ton bulk out of freezing water like a cane, not a crown.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eInuit hunters supposedly treated the walrus as an elder spirit — older than the ice, in no hurry to prove it. The howl, then, isn't excitement. It's a senior citizen reminding the moon who was here first. You don't interrupt that.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ 15\" x 16\"","offer_id":58748366553352,"sku":"17078665526151083205","price":14.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1056\/9288\/9352\/files\/12596764291685490267_2048.jpg?v=1789669577"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1056\/9288\/9352\/collections\/walrus-collection-f33342c0.jpg?v=1789553994","url":"https:\/\/moonhowlers.store\/collections\/howling-walrus.oembed","provider":"Moon Howlers","version":"1.0","type":"link"}